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Waiter: Pardon, you, you uh rang sir?Egbert Fitzgerald: Who me? Well, my dear fellow, what is there here to ring with?Waiter: Pardon sir, that's just a figure of speech.Egbert Fitzgerald: Oh, oh. Uhuh. Well, bring me a... let me have a... eh, there there. You see? Your figure of speech has made me forget entirely what I wanted.Waiter: Could it have been that you require crumpets?Egbert Fitzgerald: No no no, I never ring for crumpets.Waiter: Would you be the kind of man who would ring for a toasted scone, sir?Egbert Fitzgerald: Scone? Well, now uh, no. no. Try me again.Waiter: Well, then could you, could you imagine yourself with a hankering for a nice gooseberry tart?Egbert Fitzgerald: Oh what an acid thought. Please.Waiter: No crumpets. No scones. No gooseberry tart. Well that lands both of us in a cul-de-sac doesn't it, sir?Egbert Fitzgerald: Of course it does. I knew it would.Waiter: You know I hate to leave you like this. You torn with doubts and me with my duty undischarged.Egbert Fitzgerald: Oh well cheer up old man, cheer up. It will come to me.Waiter: Was it animal or vegetable sir?Egbert Fitzgerald: No.Waiter: Well that leaves us mineral doesn't it sir. Now sir, was it a bit of half and half, a noggin of ale, a pipkin of porter, a stoop of stout, or a beaker of beer?Egbert Fitzgerald: Tea.Waiter: Tea. Ha. Well isn't it a small world sir.

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