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Priest: Have you been able to find time for the survey in regard to the declining attendance in England's churches?Michael Rimmer: Yes, we have.Priest: We've tried everything, you know... cutthroat bingo, hallucinogens in the wafers, neon lights for the graveyards, chapels on wheels, fifty-fifty drawings after communion...Michael Rimmer: Really?Priest: [grabbing hold of his vestments] And these clothes are a bit out-of-date for the 1960s.Michael Rimmer: Yes, well, we've done a great deal of research on the results of our religious polls and I believe we have discovered the true root of the problem.Priest: What would that be?Michael Rimmer: God.Priest: I had a nasty suspicion it was that.Michael Rimmer: It's just that people have a hard time believing in Him. So, get rid of the God and you'll do just fine.Priest: Interesting. Sort of an "Our Father who *might be* in heaven"...Michael Rimmer: Yes, very good.

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