The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer1970

Priest:
Have you been able to find time for the survey in regard to the declining attendance in England's churches?

Michael Rimmer:
Yes, we have.

Priest:
We've tried everything, you know... cutthroat bingo, hallucinogens in the wafers, neon lights for the graveyards, chapels on wheels, fifty-fifty drawings after communion...

Michael Rimmer:
Really?

Priest:
[grabbing hold of his vestments] And these clothes are a bit out-of-date for the 1960s.

Michael Rimmer:
Yes, well, we've done a great deal of research on the results of our religious polls and I believe we have discovered the true root of the problem.

Priest:
What would that be?

Michael Rimmer:
God.

Priest:
I had a nasty suspicion it was that.

Michael Rimmer:
It's just that people have a hard time believing in Him. So, get rid of the God and you'll do just fine.

Priest:
Interesting. Sort of an "Our Father who *might be* in heaven"...

Michael Rimmer:
Yes, very good.