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Miff Ferrie: I am fed up covering up for your mistress. Buying hush-hush train tickets, organising passes.Tommy Cooper: You should thank Mary. I wouldn't be running round the country earning you money if she wasn't by my side. I'd be out playing golf with Ronnie Corbett.Miff Ferrie: [exasperated] There is a reason why monogamy works, Tommy. It's less tiring.Tommy Cooper: I can't give up Mary, Miff. I love her.Miff Ferrie: And what about Dove?Tommy Cooper: You can love two women.Miff Ferrie: Until you get caught!Tommy Cooper: No, I mean it. I'm not proud of it. I'm ashamed, but it's true. Dove has been my life - put me on stage, made a man of me. If anyone hurts her or the family, I'll rip their head off.Miff Ferrie: [wearily] Yeah, well that person's going to be you.

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    Quiz

    Are you a quotes master?

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    "Who steals my purse steals trash; But he that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him and makes me poor indeed."
    A Marcus Aurelius
    B Othello
    C Julius Caesar
    D lincoln