[after Harold has been placed in a cell with Tarik Jackson]
Harold: So, what are you in here for?
Tarik: For bein' black.
Harold: Seriously?
Tarik: I am serious. Wanna know what happened?
[Harold nods]
Tarik: I was walkin' out of a Barnes and Noble, and the cop stops me. Now, evidently, a black guy robbed a store in Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months". So he starts beatin' me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest.
Harold: Holy shit. What'd you do?
Tarik: I kept sayin': "I understand I'm under arrest. Now, please stop beatin' me!".
Harold: I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this.
Tarik: Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have 2 gay fathers. People have been messin' with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago that there's no sense gettin' all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus, I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.
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