Alfred: Master Bruce, you live on an island figuratively and literally.
Batman: Yeah, I love it.
Alfred: You can't spend the rest of your life alone dressed in black, listening to angry music, and staying up all night.
Batman: Yes I can. 'Cause I'm Batman.
Alfred: But don't you think it's time you finally faced your biggest fear?
Batman: Snakes?
Alfred: No.
Batman: Clowns?
Alfred: No.
Batman: Snake-clowns?
Alfred: Bruce, listen. Your greatest fear is being a part of a family again.
[Batman looks at the family pictures]
Batman: Nope, now it's Snake-clowns, because you put that idea in my head.
Alfred: Sir-
Batman: Time for push-ups! One! Two! I'm going to a thousand.
Alfred: I'm afraid that's not possible, sir.
Batman: It is possible. I'm already at twenty.
Alfred: You're scheduled to go to Jim Gordon's retirement party this evening.
Batman: What? No! I don't wanna do that!
Alfred: You're going to have a good time.
Batman: No, no, no, no!
Alfred: You might meet some new people.
Batman: No, no, no, no!
Alfred: Even make some new friends.
Batman: No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! (To the tune of the Adam West theme song) No-no, no-no, no-no, no-no! (Beatboxes) NO!
Alfred: And before you go, we could do your favourite thing.
Batman: Tuxedo dress-up party!
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