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[Brian is caught graffiti-ing a wall] Centurion: What's this then? "Romanes eunt domus"? "People called Romanes, they go the 'ouse"? Brian: [terrified] It... it says "Romans go home". Centurion: No it doesn't. What's Latin for "Roman"? [Brian hesitates.] Come on, come on! Brian: "Romanus"? Centurion: Goes like...? Brian: "Annus"? Centurion: Vocative plural of "annus" is...? Brian: "Anni." Centurion: [writing] "Romani". "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Brian: "Go". Centurion: Conjugate the verb "to go". Brian: Ire, eo, is, it, imus, itis, eunt. Centurion: So "eunt" is...? Brian: Third person plural, present indicative. "They go". Centurion: But "Romans go home" is an order, so you must use the…? Brian: [getting his earlock pulled, increasingly panicked] Ah, imperative? Centurion: Which is…? Brian: Uh, uhm, "i"! "I"! Centurion: How many Romans? Brian: Aah! Plural, plural! "Ite"! "Ite"! Centurion: [writing] "Ite". "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home", this is motion towards, isn't it, boy?” Brian: Dative? [centurion draws his sword and holds it to Brian's throat] Ah! Not dative! Not the dative, sir! Ah! Ah! Oh! Accusative, accusative! "Domum", sir, "ad domum". Centurion: Except that "domus" takes the…? Brian: The vocative, sir? Centurion: Which is…? Brian: "Domum"! Centurion: "Domum". [writing] "Um". Understand? Brian: Yes, sir. Centurion: Now write it out a 'undred times. Brian: Yes sir, thank you sir, Hail Caesar sir. [calming down] Centurion: Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off. Brian: Oh thank you sir. Thank you sir. Hail Caesar and everything sir. [at sunrise the wall is covered in writing] Brian: [exhausted, finishing the last line] Finished! Centurion: Right. Now don't do it again. [Brian climbs down the ladder, steps back and surveys his handiwork. Three Roman centurions appear, look at the wall, then turn to Brian in anger. Brian looks at them; his eyes widen in realisation as he runs away and they give chase]

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