Monty Python's Life of Brian1979

[Brian is caught graffiti-ing a wall]

Centurion:
What's this then? "Romanes eunt domus"? "People called Romanes, they go the 'ouse"?

Brian:
[terrified] It... it says "Romans go home".

Centurion:
No it doesn't. What's Latin for "Roman"? [Brian hesitates.] Come on, come on!

Brian:
"Romanus"?

Centurion:
Goes like...?

Brian:
"Annus"?

Centurion:
Vocative plural of "annus" is...?

Brian:
"Anni."

Centurion:
[writing] "Romani". "Eunt"? What is "eunt"?

Brian:
"Go".

Centurion:
Conjugate the verb "to go".

Brian:
Ire, eo, is, it, imus, itis, eunt.

Centurion:
So "eunt" is...?

Brian:
Third person plural, present indicative. "They go".

Centurion:
But "Romans go home" is an order, so you must use the…?

Brian:
[getting his earlock pulled, increasingly panicked] Ah, imperative?

Centurion:
Which is…?

Brian:
Uh, uhm, "i"! "I"!

Centurion:
How many Romans?

Brian:
Aah! Plural, plural! "Ite"! "Ite"!

Centurion:
[writing] "Ite". "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home", this is motion towards, isn't it, boy?”

Brian:
Dative? [centurion draws his sword and holds it to Brian's throat] Ah! Not dative! Not the dative, sir! Ah! Ah! Oh! Accusative, accusative! "Domum", sir, "ad domum".

Centurion:
Except that "domus" takes the…?

Brian:
The vocative, sir?

Centurion:
Which is…?

Brian:
"Domum"!

Centurion:
"Domum". [writing] "Um". Understand?

Brian:
Yes, sir.

Centurion:
Now write it out a 'undred times.

Brian:
Yes sir, thank you sir, Hail Caesar sir. [calming down]

Centurion:
Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

Brian:
Oh thank you sir. Thank you sir. Hail Caesar and everything sir.

[at sunrise the wall is covered in writing]

Brian:
[exhausted, finishing the last line] Finished!

Centurion:
Right. Now don't do it again.

[Brian climbs down the ladder, steps back and surveys his handiwork. Three Roman centurions appear, look at the wall, then turn to Brian in anger. Brian looks at them; his eyes widen in realisation as he runs away and they give chase]