[onstage at the opera performing] Confidante: They say that this youth has set my lady's heart aflame! Fop #1: His lordship sure would die of shock! Fop: His lordship is a laughingstock! Confidante: Should he suspect her, God protect her... Confidante, Fop #1, Fop: ...shame, shame, shame! This faithless lady's bound for Hades... shame, shame, shame! Carlotta: [as Countess] Serafimo, your disguise is perfect! ["knock" at door] Why, who can this be? Piangi: Gentle wife, admit your loving husband! [gropes Meg's bottom] [Meg squeaks as audience laughs] Andre: [to Firmin] See, that is exactly the sort of thing the public loves! Husband: My love, I’m called to England on affairs of state, and must leave you with your new maid! [to crowd] Though I would happily take the maid with me! [audience laughs] Carlotta: [also to audience] The old fool is leaving! Andre: That's the Countess de Charbourg! She's invited us to her Salon, you know. Firmin: Nothing like that ever happened to us in the junk business. Andre: [correcting] Scrap metal. Carlotta: Serafimo, away with this pretence! [Christine, playing as Serafimo, throws off skirts disguising her as a maid] Carlotta: You cannot speak, but kiss me in my husband's absence. Poor fool, he makes laugh! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha! Confidante, Fop #1, Fop and Carlotta: Old fool, he doesn’t know, ho ho ho ho ho! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha! The Phantom: [voice booms around theater] Did I NOT instruct... that Box Five was to be kept empty? [The audience gasps] Meg Giry: He's here, The Phantom of the Opera! Christine: [faintly] It’s him... Carlotta: [snaps] Your part is silent, little toad! ... [laughs nervously at crowd] The Phantom: [softly] A toad, madam? Perhaps it is you who are the toad... [Joseph Buquet starts to search for the Phantom] Carlotta: [begins again] Serafimo, away with this pretence! You cannot speak, but kiss my in my – [croaks] [The audience gasps, then laughs] Carlotta: Poor fool, he makes laugh! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha -- [croaks loudly] [The audience laughs loudly as Carlotta begins to shriek; the curtain closes] Reyer: [to one of the fops from dancing alone in front of the curtain] You're fired! Firmin: Ladies and Gentlemen, we apologize. Uh, the uh, performance, will... continue in ten minutes time, when the role of the Countess will be played by Miss Daaé! [The audience applauds] Andre: [voice strained] Meanwhile, we’d like to give you the ballet from Act Three of tonight’s Opera! Reyer: What?? Andre: Maestro, th-th-the ballet, bring it forward, please. The ballet! Now, please! Firmin: Thank you! [The audience applauds again and cheers; chaos issues as the ballet is preformed; the audience starts to laugh uproariously] [Joseph Buquet is searching around for the Phantom behind the stage when he comes face to face with him] Joseph Buquet: Uhha! [stumbles back and runs] [tries to get away from the Phantom, who is climbing the rope stairs above the stage; the Phantom hunts him down and pins him against the planks of the rope ladder; he puts an noose around his neck and throws him down to hang in the center of the stage in front of everyone] [The audiences screams; Raoul runs backstage to Christine] Raoul: Are you alright? Christine: Raoul, we’re not safe here. [pulls him along] Firmin: Ladies and Gentleman, please remain in your seats! Do not panic! It’s simply an accident! AN ACCIDENT!

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