Phil: Nancy! What are you doing here?
Nancy: I'm late. I missed my period.
Phil: What?
Nancy: I was at work and on my break and I took one of those home pregnancy tests from Aisle 11.
Phil: The ones that are on special?
Nancy: Yes, and it came up blue!
Arlene: Why is she telling you this, Phil?
Phil: Because... because I'm her boss! And... we have a health plan!
Arlene: You son of a bitch, you had a thing with this little girl in my father's store?
Phil: No...no!
Nancy: It was in his car! And I'm not a little girl, I'm 20.
Phil: Oh, Jesus.
Arlene: Get out of this house, you little whore!
Phil: Hey! I will not permit you to talk to her that way.
Arlene: Fine. I'll tell my father what you did!
Phil: No, do not call Mr Levine! Hey! Put down that phone...
[struggles to take the phone from her}
Arlene: You're crazy!
Phil: That's right - not having sex for 12 years will do that to a person!
[phone jack is torn from the wall]
Mitch: My phone!
Arlene: [leaving the room] I'll call from the bedroom.
Phil: The bedroom? How the hell would you know where the bedroom is?
Arlene: [from the other room] I'm calling...
Phil: Go ahead, call him, I'm sure he's home! It's his night to meet with the other escaped Nazis, isn't it?
Arlene: I hate you!
Phil: I hate you more! If hate were people, I'd be China!
Mitch: [awkward pause] Let's bring out the cake! [to Nancy] Want some?
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