City Slickers1991

Phil:
Nancy! What are you doing here?

Nancy:
I'm late. I missed my period.

Phil:
What?

Nancy:
I was at work and on my break and I took one of those home pregnancy tests from Aisle 11.

Phil:
The ones that are on special?

Nancy:
Yes, and it came up blue!

Arlene:
Why is she telling you this, Phil?

Phil:
Because... because I'm her boss! And... we have a health plan!

Arlene:
You son of a b*tch, you had a thing with this little girl in my father's store?

Phil:
No...no!

Nancy:
It was in his car! And I'm not a little girl, I'm 20.

Phil:
Oh, Jesus.

Arlene:
Get out of this house, you little whore!

Phil:
Hey! I will not permit you to talk to her that way.

Arlene:
Fine. I'll tell my father what you did!

Phil:
No, do not call Mr Levine! Hey! Put down that phone...

[struggles to take the phone from her}

Arlene:
You're crazy!

Phil:
That's right - not having sex for 12 years will do that to a person!

[phone jack is torn from the wall]

Mitch:
My phone!

Arlene:
[leaving the room] I'll call from the bedroom.

Phil:
The bedroom? How the hell would you know where the bedroom is?

Arlene:
[from the other room] I'm calling...

Phil:
Go ahead, call him, I'm sure he's home! It's his night to meet with the other escaped Nazis, isn't it?

Arlene:
I hate you!

Phil:
I hate you more! If hate were people, I'd be China!

Mitch:
[awkward pause] Let's bring out the cake! [to Nancy] Want some?