Mad Hatter: What's the matter, my dear? Don't you care for tea? Alice: Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea, but- March Hare: If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation! Alice: [frustrated] Well, I've been trying to ask you- March Hare: I have an excellent idea. Let's change the subject. Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing desk? Alice: Riddles? [to herself] Let me see. Why is a raven like a writing desk? Mad Hatter: I beg your pardon? Alice: Why is a raven like a writing desk? Mad Hatter: [shocked] WHY IS A WHAT?! March Hare: [nervously] Careful! SHE'S STARK RAVING MAD! Alice: But it's your silly riddle. You just said... Mad Hatter: [nervously] Easy! Don't get excited! March Hare: [trying to make peace with Alice] How about a nice cup of tea? Alice: [angrily] "Have a cup of tea" indeed! Well, I'M sorry, but I just HAVEN'T the time! March Hare: THE TIME! THE TIME! WHO'S GOT THE TIME? White Rabbit: N-n-n-no time, no time, no time! Hello, good bye, I'm late, I'm late. Alice: The rabbit! White Rabbit: I'm so late! I'm so very late. Mad Hatter: [snatching the White Rabbit's Watch] Well, no wonder you're late! Why this clock is EXACTLY two days slow! Rabbit: Two days slow? Mad Hatter: Of course you're late! [chuckles as he dunks the watch in the tea] MY GOODNESS! We'll have to look into this. [places a salt shaker over his eye and uses it as a jeweler's eyepiece ] AHA! I see what's wrong with it! [starts to pry parts out of the watch with a fork ] Why, this watch is full of wheels! Rabbit: [shocked] OH, MY POOR WATCH!! OH, MY WHEELS! AND SPRINGS! But-but-but-but-but-but- Mad Hatter: BUTTER! Of course! It NEEDS some butter. BUTTER!!! March Hare: [shouts into Rabbit's ear] BUTTER!!! Rabbit: [confused] B-b-butter? Mad Hatter: Butter! Oh, thank you! Ha ha! Yes! That's FINE! Yes, thank you! Rabbit: Oh, no, no! No, no! No! You'll get crumbs in it! Mad Hatter: Oh, THIS is the VERY BEST butter! [throws butter in rabbit's face] What are you talking about? March Hare: Tea? Mad Hatter: Oh, tea! I never THOUGHT of tea before! OF COURSE! Rabbit: NO! Mad Hatter: TEA! HEHEHE! Rabbit: [shocked] NO! NOT TEA! March Hare: Sugar? Mad Hatter: SUGAR! TWO SPOONS! Yes, ha, TWO SPOONS thank you, Yes! (jams the spoons straight into the watch) Rabbit: [shocked] OH, PLEASE! BE CAREFUL! March Hare: JAM? Mad Hatter: JAM! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT JAM! Rabbit: NO! NO! NOT JAM! Mad Hatter: Yes, sure you want. It's nice to see. March Hare: MUSTARD?? Mad Hatter: Mustard! yes...huh? MUSTARD?! DON'T LET'S BE SILLY!!! LEMON, that's different, that's... yes. THAT should work! Hahaha! [watch starts going crazy] LOOK AT THAT! March Hare: IT'S GOING MAD! Alice: OH, MY GOODNESS! Rabbit: OH, DEAR! Mad Hatter: I DON'T UNDERSTAND! IT'S THE BEST BUTTER! March Hare: IT'S GOING MAD! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH!!! Mad Hatter: OH, MY GOODNESS! OH, DEAR, LOOK AT THAT! March Hare: THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP A MAD WATCH! [smashes watch with a mallet; scene changes from color to black and white, then color again] Mad Hatter: Two days slow. That's what it is.

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