Alice in Wonderland1951

Mad Hatter:
What's the matter, my dear? Don't you care for tea?

Alice:
Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea, but-

March Hare:
If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!

Alice:
[frustrated] Well, I've been trying to ask you-

March Hare:
I have an excellent idea. Let's change the subject.

Mad Hatter:
Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Alice:
Riddles? [to herself] Let me see. Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Mad Hatter:
I beg your pardon?

Alice:
Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Mad Hatter:
[shocked] WHY IS A WHAT?!

March Hare:
[nervously] Careful! SHE'S STARK RAVING MAD!

Alice:
But it's your silly riddle. You just said...

Mad Hatter:
[nervously] Easy! Don't get excited!

March Hare:
[trying to make peace with Alice] How about a nice cup of tea?

Alice:
[angrily] "Have a cup of tea" indeed! Well, I'M sorry, but I just HAVEN'T the time!

March Hare:
THE TIME! THE TIME! WHO'S GOT THE TIME?

White Rabbit:
N-n-n-no time, no time, no time! Hello, good bye, I'm late, I'm late.

Alice:
The rabbit!

White Rabbit:
I'm so late! I'm so very late.

Mad Hatter:
[snatching the White Rabbit's Watch] Well, no wonder you're late! Why this clock is EXACTLY two days slow!

Rabbit:
Two days slow?

Mad Hatter:
Of course you're late! [chuckles as he dunks the watch in the tea] MY GOODNESS! We'll have to look into this. [places a salt shaker over his eye and uses it as a jeweler's eyepiece ] AHA! I see what's wrong with it! [starts to pry parts out of the watch with a fork ] Why, this watch is full of wheels!

Rabbit:
[shocked] OH, MY POOR WATCH!! OH, MY WHEELS! AND SPRINGS! But-but-but-but-but-but-

Mad Hatter:
BUTTER! Of course! It NEEDS some butter. BUTTER!!!

March Hare:
[shouts into Rabbit's ear] BUTTER!!!

Rabbit:
[confused] B-b-butter?

Mad Hatter:
Butter! Oh, thank you! Ha ha! Yes! That's FINE! Yes, thank you!

Rabbit:
Oh, no, no! No, no! No! You'll get crumbs in it!

Mad Hatter:
Oh, THIS is the VERY BEST butter! [throws butter in rabbit's face] What are you talking about?

March Hare:
Tea?

Mad Hatter:
Oh, tea! I never THOUGHT of tea before! OF COURSE!

Rabbit:
NO!

Mad Hatter:
TEA! HEHEHE!

Rabbit:
[shocked] NO! NOT TEA!

March Hare:
Sugar?

Mad Hatter:
SUGAR! TWO SPOONS! Yes, ha, TWO SPOONS thank you, Yes! (jams the spoons straight into the watch)

Rabbit:
[shocked] OH, PLEASE! BE CAREFUL!

March Hare:
JAM?

Mad Hatter:
JAM! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT JAM!

Rabbit:
NO! NO! NOT JAM!

Mad Hatter:
Yes, sure you want. It's nice to see.

March Hare:
MUSTARD??

Mad Hatter:
Mustard! yes...huh? MUSTARD?! DON'T LET'S BE SILLY!!! LEMON, that's different, that's... yes. THAT should work! Hahaha! [watch starts going crazy] LOOK AT THAT!

March Hare:
IT'S GOING MAD!

Alice:
OH, MY GOODNESS!

Rabbit:
OH, DEAR!

Mad Hatter:
I DON'T UNDERSTAND! IT'S THE BEST BUTTER!

March Hare:
IT'S GOING MAD! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH!!!

Mad Hatter:
OH, MY GOODNESS! OH, DEAR, LOOK AT THAT!

March Hare:
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP A MAD WATCH! [smashes watch with a mallet; scene changes from color to black and white, then color again]

Mad Hatter:
Two days slow. That's what it is.