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Weiss: So what was the important news you couldn't tell me on the phone, again? Ed Wood: Well, I started thinking about how you said your movies needed to make a profit. Now, what is the one thing, if you put it in a movie, it'll be successful? George Weiss: Tits. Ed: No, better than that. A star! Weiss: Kid, you must have me confused with David Selznick. I don't make major motion pictures, I make crap. Ed: Yes — but if you take that crap and put a star in it, then you've got something! Weiss: Yeah. Crap with a star. Ed: No, something better! Something impressive. Maybe the biggest money maker you've ever had. Weiss: Fine, alright. You maybe right, but it doesn't frickin' matter! I can't afford a star, so what are we even talking about? Ed: Alright, what if I told you you could have a star for $1000? Weiss: Who? [Ed holds up a photo of [Bela Lugosi] Weiss: Lugosi? Ed: Yes, Lugosi! Weiss: Isn't he dead? Ed: No, he's not dead! He lives in Baldwin Hills. I met him recently, and he really wants to be in our movie. Weiss: Why would Lugosi wanna do a sex-change flick? Ed: Because he's my friend! Weiss: All right, fine! You can direct it. I want a script in three days. We start shooting a week from Monday. Ed: Oh... oh, Mister Weiss, thank you so much! You won't regret it! I won't let you down!

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