Major Fambrough: [reading orders] Lieutenant John J. Dunbar. [pauses, looks up] Lieutenant John J. Dunbar?
John Dunbar: Yes, sir.
Major Fambrough: Yes, sir. [pause] Indian fighter?
John Dunbar: Excuse me?
Major Fambrough: You're to be posted on the Frontier. The Frontier is Indian country. I deduced that you're an Indian fighter. I didn't rise to this position by being stupid.
John Dunbar: No, sir.
Major Fambrough: No sir. [pause] It says here that you've been decorated.
John Dunbar: Yes, sir.
Major Fambrough: And they've sent you here to be posted?
John Dunbar: I'm here at my own request.
Major Fambrough: Really? Why?
John Dunbar: I've always wanted to see the frontier.
Major Fambrough: See the frontier--
John Dunbar: Yes, sir. Before it's gone.
Major Fambrough: [taking a sheet of paper from the desk drawer, the sound of liquor bottles clinking as he does so] Such a smart lad, coming straight to me. [scribbling with a quill pen] Sir...Knight, I am sending you on a knight's errand. You will report to Captain Cargill, at the furthermost outpost of the realm, Fort Sedgewick. My personal seal [scribbling] will assure your safety [scribbling furiously] through many miles of wild and hostile country. [He folds the letter into an impossibly tiny square and hands it to Lt. Dunbar]
John Dunbar: [taking the note] I was wondering--
Major Fambrough: Yes?
John Dunbar: How will I be getting there?
Major Fambrough: You think I don't know?
John Dunbar: No, sir, it's just that I don't know--
Major Fambrough: Hold your tongue. [pause] I happen to be in a generous mood and I will grant you a boon. [gestures to the window] See that peasant out there? He calls himself Timmons. He is going to Fort Sedgwick this very afternoon. You may ride with him. He knows the way. That is all.
[Dunbar turns to leave. When he gets to the door, the Major calls to him]
Major Fambrough: Sir Knight?
[Dunbar turns as the Major stands, a dark stain on the front of his trousers]
Major Fambrough: I've just pissed my pants...and no one can do anything about it.
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