Vanessa: Hey, hands off the merchandise.
Wade: Merchandise, huh? So, you, uh... bump fuzzies for money?
Vanessa: Yup.
Wade: Rough childhood?
Vanessa: Rougher than yours. Daddy left before I was born.
Wade: Daddy left before I was conceived.
Vanessa: Ever had a cigarette put out on your skin?
Wade: Where else do you put one out?
Vanessa: I was molested.
Wade: Me too. Uncle.
Vanessa: Uncles. They took turns.
Wade: I watched my own birthday party through the keyhole of a locked closet, which also happens to be my–
Vanessa: Your bedroom. Lucky, I slept in a dishwasher box.
Wade: [gasps] You had a dishwasher? I didn't even know sleep. It was pretty much 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix, and clown porn.
Vanessa: [laughs] Who would do such a thing?
Wade: Hopefully you, later tonight? Hey, what can I get for, [looks at his wallet] uh, $275 and a... Yogurtland rewards card?
Vanessa: Baby, about 48 minutes of whatever the fuck you want. [takes the rewards card, sticks it in Wade's mouth] And a low-fat dessert.
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