Deadpool2016

Vanessa:
Hey, hands off the merchandise.

Wade:
Merchandise, huh? So, you, uh... bump fuzzies for money?

Vanessa:
Yup.

Wade:
Rough childhood?

Vanessa:
Rougher than yours. Daddy left before I was born.

Wade:
Daddy left before I was conceived.

Vanessa:
Ever had a cigarette put out on your skin?

Wade:
Where else do you put one out?

Vanessa:
I was molested.

Wade:
Me too. Uncle.

Vanessa:
Uncles. They took turns.

Wade:
I watched my own birthday party through the keyhole of a locked closet, which also happens to be my–

Vanessa:
Your bedroom. Lucky, I slept in a dishwasher box.

Wade:
[gasps] You had a dishwasher? I didn't even know sleep. It was pretty much 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix, and clown porn.

Vanessa:
[laughs] Who would do such a thing?

Wade:
Hopefully you, later tonight? Hey, what can I get for, [looks at his wallet] uh, $275 and a... Yogurtland rewards card?

Vanessa:
Baby, about 48 minutes of whatever the f*** you want. [takes the rewards card, sticks it in Wade's mouth] And a low-fat dessert.