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[As Wade's hand regenerates] Blind Al: Am I crazy, or is your hand really small? Wade: About the size of a KFC spork. Blind Al: I get why you're so pissy, but your mood's never gonna brighten 'till you find this woman and tell her how you feel. Wade: What do I keep telling you, Mrs. Magoo? She wouldn't have me. If you could see me, you'd understand. Blind Al: Looks aren't everything. Wade: Looks are everything! Ever heard Dave Beckham speak? It's like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on a superior acting method? Blind Al: Love is blind, Wade. Wade: No. You're blind. Blind Al: So you're just gonna lie there and whimper? Wade: No, I'm gonna wait 'till this arm plows through puberty, and then I'll come up with a whole new Christmas day plan. In the meantime, you might wanna leave the room. I bet it feels huge in this hand. [ushering her out] Go, go, go, go, go...

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