Deadpool2016

[As Wade's hand regenerates]

Blind Al:
Am I crazy, or is your hand really small?

Wade:
About the size of a KFC spork.

Blind Al:
I get why you're so pissy, but your mood's never gonna brighten 'till you find this woman and tell her how you feel.

Wade:
What do I keep telling you, Mrs. Magoo? She wouldn't have me. If you could see me, you'd understand.

Blind Al:
Looks aren't everything.

Wade:
Looks are everything! Ever heard Dave Beckham speak? It's like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on a superior acting method?

Blind Al:
Love is blind, Wade.

Wade:
No. You're blind.

Blind Al:
So you're just gonna lie there and whimper?

Wade:
No, I'm gonna wait 'till this arm plows through puberty, and then I'll come up with a whole new Christmas day plan. In the meantime, you might wanna leave the room. I bet it feels huge in this hand. [ushering her out] Go, go, go, go, go...