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Wagstaff: This is the first time I've been out in a canoe since I saw The American Tragedy. Connie: Oh, you're perfectly safe, Professor, in this boat. Wagstaff: I don't know. I was going to get a flat bottom but the girl at the boat house didn't have one. Connie: Well you know, Professor, I could go on like this, drifting and dreaming forever. What a day! Spring in the air. Wagstaff: Who, me? I should spring in the air and fall in the lake? Connie: Oh, Professor, you're full of whimsy. Wagstaff: Can you notice it from there? I'm always that way after I eat radishes. (he adjusts his jacket, and a piece of paper falls from his pocket into the lake; he grabs an oar and tries to pull it back) Connie: Oh, is that important? (tries to help him) Wagstaff: Is it important?! Those are the football signals! (a duck begins eating the signals, Wagstaff sits down again) Let 'em go. Luckily, I've got a duplicate set in my pocket. I always carry two of everything- this is the first time I've ever been out with one woman. Connie: Oh, you mean you take two girls out every time? Wagstaff: (nods) Particularly in an automobile- I hate to see a girl walk home alone. Connie: Do you know, Professor, I've never seen football signals? Do you think a little girl like me could understand them? Wagstaff: I think a little girl like you would understand practically anything. Connie: Is gweat big stwong man gonna show liddle icky baby all about the bad footbawl signals? Wagstaff: [startled] Was that you or the duck? 'Cause if it was you, I'm gonna finish this ride with the duck. Connie: If icky baby don't learn about the footbawl signals, icky baby gonna cwy. Wagstaff: If icky girl keep on tawking that way, big stwong man gonna kick all her teef wight down her thwoat.

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