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[Matilda arrives home late from school] Harry: Young lady, where were you? Matilda: Ms. Trunchbull kept the whole school late 'cause this boy ate some chocolate cake. Harry: That's the biggest lie I ever heard! You see those packages over there? They were left out there for the world to see because you weren't here to take them in! Zinnia: Well, I don't think it's fair, bumpkins. [hands Harry a stick of marshmallows] Harry: What? Zinnia: You get all this stuff from catalogs, and I don't get anything! Harry: It's not catalogs, it's car parts, sweetness. It's business. Zinnia: Oh, if it's business, why don't you have it sent to the office? Harry: Because the cops may be watching the office. Matilda: [as she makes herself a sandwich] The cops are watching the house. Harry: What? Matilda: They're parked outside right now. Zinnia: You are such an ignoramus! Those are speedboat salesman, really nice guys. Matilda: Cops. Harry: [looks out the window and sees Agents Bob and Bill in their car] Speedboats? There are no lakes around here. Zinnia: Yeah, but some people like to go away on the weekends. Some people have fun. Matilda: And some people are cops. Harry: They are not cops! Matilda: Are too. Harry: They are not! I ought to know if there's cops watching my house! Now go to bed, you lying little earwig!

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