Matilda1996

[Matilda arrives home late from school]

Harry:
Young lady, where were you?

Matilda:
Ms. Trunchbull kept the whole school late 'cause this boy ate some chocolate cake.

Harry:
That's the biggest lie I ever heard! You see those packages over there? They were left out there for the world to see because you weren't here to take them in!

Zinnia:
Well, I don't think it's fair, bumpkins. [hands Harry a stick of marshmallows]

Harry:
What?

Zinnia:
You get all this stuff from catalogs, and I don't get anything!

Harry:
It's not catalogs, it's car parts, sweetness. It's business.

Zinnia:
Oh, if it's business, why don't you have it sent to the office?

Harry:
Because the cops may be watching the office.

Matilda:
[as she makes herself a sandwich] The cops are watching the house.

Harry:
What?

Matilda:
They're parked outside right now.

Zinnia:
You are such an ignoramus! Those are speedboat salesman, really nice guys.

Matilda:
Cops.

Harry:
[looks out the window and sees Agents Bob and Bill in their car] Speedboats? There are no lakes around here.

Zinnia:
Yeah, but some people like to go away on the weekends. Some people have fun.

Matilda:
And some people are cops.

Harry:
They are not cops!

Matilda:
Are too.

Harry:
They are not! I ought to know if there's cops watching my house! Now go to bed, you lying little earwig!