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[Sarah answers the ringing phone] Sarah: Director's office. Roman Bridger: Sarah, it's Roman. I'm sorry I'm running late. I'm still on the 405. I'm about 10 minutes away. Sarah: Oh, it's no problem. I'm just looking at your music video awards. Roman Bridger: Uh, look, since I got you on the phone, let's talk about your character, okay? Sarah: What character? I'm Candy, the chick who gets killed second. I'm only in two scenes. Roman Bridger: You're not happy with your part. Sarah: I'm not happy that I am 35 playing a 21-year-old. I'm not happy that I have to die naked. And I'm not happy that my character is too stupid to have a gun in the house after her boyfriend's been cut into fish sticks. Roman Bridger: Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Great, okay. So let's run the lines. Sarah: Fine. Roman Bridger: Page 28. Candy's big moment. Sarah: Page 28. "Ring-ring. Hello?" Roman Bridger: "Hello?" Sarah: "Who's this?" Roman Bridger: "Who's this?" Sarah: "This is Candy. Hang on, let me get some clothes." See? I don't understand why I have to start the scene in the shower. The whole shower thing's been done. Vertigo. Hello? And I mean, my boyfriend just died. Why am I showering? Roman Bridger: [sighs] Why don't we just read the scene? "Candy. Nice name. Is that like Candy Cane or Candy Apple?" Sarah: Whatever. "Come on, who is this? I think you have the wrong number." Roman Bridger: "But you know my favorite name?" Sarah: "I'm hanging up right now." Roman Bridger: "It's Sarah." Sarah: [confused] Roman, that's not the line. Roman Bridger: It is in my script. Sarah: Has there been another goddamn rewrite? How the fuck are we supposed to learn our lines when there's a new script every 15 minutes? Roman Bridger: It's not just a new script. It's a new movie. Sarah: What? What movie? Roman Bridger: My movie. [Roman's voice suddenly changes] Phone Voice: And it's called Sarah Gets Skewered Like a Fucking Pig! [Sarah's eyes widen] Still in character, Sarah?

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