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Reverend Larson: First, I want you to promise that no matter what you do in life, you will never ever settle for average. Young Hal: Yes, sir. Reverend Larson: Second, don't be satisfied with routine poontang. Young Hal: [confused] Huh? Reverend Larson: Don't do what I did. I married for love, and your mother Betty, has been a nightmare. Young Hal: But, Dad, Mom's name is Marian. Reverend Larson: Listen to me, I'm giving you pearls here. And third, find yourself a classic beauty. With a perfect can, and great totties. That will put you in good stead with the Lord. Its all in here. Yes, sir. Hot young tail's what its all about.

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