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Jerry: Have I got things to tell you! Joe: What happened? Jerry: I'm engaged. Joe: Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl? Jerry: I am! Joe: WHAT?! Jerry: Osgood proposed to me! We're planning a June wedding. Joe: What are you talking about? You can't marry Osgood. Jerry: Why, you think he's too old for me? Joe: Jerry, you can't be serious. Jerry: Why not? He keeps marrying girls all the time. Joe: But, you're not a girl! You're a guy, and, why would a guy wanna marry a guy? Jerry: For security! Look, I know there's a problem, Joe. Joe: I'll say there is. Jerry: His mother - we need her approval, but I'm not worried because I don't smoke. Joe: Jerry. There's another problem, like what are you gonna do on your honeymoon? Jerry: We've been discussing that. He wants to go to the Riviera but I'm kinda leaning toward Niagra Falls. Joe: My God. Jerry: I don't expect it to last Joe. I'll tell him when the time's right. Joe: Like when? Jerry: Like right after the ceremony. Then we get a quick annulment, he makes a nice little settlement on me and I keep getting those alimony checks every month. Joe: Jerry listen to me there are laws, conventions. It's just not been done. Jerry: Joe this may be my last chance to marry a millionaire. Joe: Oh, Jerry — Jerry, will you take my advice? Forget about the whole thing, will ya? Just keep telling yourself: you're a boy, you're a boy. Jerry: I'm a boy. Joe: That's the boy. Jerry: I'm a boy. I'm a boy. I wish I were dead. I'm a boy. Boy, oh boy, am I a boy. Now, what am I gonna do about my engagement present? Joe: What engagement present? Jerry: Osgood gave me a bracelet. Joe: [examining it] Hey, these are real diamonds! Jerry: Of course they're real! What do you think? My fiance is a bum?

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