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Caller: I was calling because I have a really big problem. Howard: What's your problem? Caller: Well, every morning I lie in bed, and the only thing I can do is think of you. Howard: Oh, really? Well, let's see if we can't help you with your problem. What do you look like? Caller: Well, I've got blond hair, and I've got blue eyes, and my measurements are about 38-24-34. Some people tell me I look a lot like Farrah Fawcett. Howard: I can help you. Robin, I can help this girl. Robin: You know, we have the most beautiful audience. Howard: We certainly do. We're very fortunate that way. You know what we're gonna do to solve your problem? I'm gonna have sex with you right now over the radio. Robin: How are we gonna do that? Howard: Very simple. I've thought this through, Robin. First of all, what kind of radio are you listening to us on? You have a transistor radio, or you have one of those big sound systems? Caller: I have one of those big sound systems. Howard: Good. OK. Could you turn the treble all the way down and put the bass all the way up? Caller: OK. The treble's down, and the bass is up. Howard: Take your speaker...You got a big speaker? Caller: Yes, I do. Howard: Lay it flat on the floor. And I want you to sort of straddle the speaker. Robin: Howard! Caller: Do what? Robin: A woman cannot be aroused in that way. Howard: No. This is really wrong, Robin. You're absolutely wrong. In fact, my father was a radio engineer, and he proved this theory years ago. You've got to believe. Now, what I need you to do is put your private area over the woofer. Caller: I can't believe you're really making me to do this. Howard: Come on, do it. Right up against it so you can feel me. Caller: I'm on. Robin: Oh, I have to ask her a question. What kind of a woman are you to have sex this way on the radio? Howard: Don't answer that question. Bad question. You're gonna ruin this woman's mood. She might start second-guessing. Are you ready to have sex? Caller: [Giggling] Oh, my God. Howard: Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Caller: Ooh! Howard: Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Caller: Oohh! Ooh. It kinda tingles. Howard: See? It tingles. She likes it. Robin: Yeah, sure. Howard: Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Caller: Ohh! Oh... Robin: She's full of it. Caller: Aahh! Ohh! Oh, God! Oh! Howard: Listen to her. She's going wild. Robin: You got me moaning. Howard: Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Caller: Ohhhhhhhh! Oh, my goodness. Ohhh! Howard: [laughs] This is the best sex I ever had.

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