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Mary: I got there as fast as I could, Sister Mary. What is it this time? Mary: Why don't you ask Phillip? Helen: Phillip? [Phillip turns around, revealing a black eye] Darling! What happened? Phillip: Nothing. Helen: Who did that to you? Phillip: One of the kids. [points at Sister Mary] *She* started it. She says I'm not legal. Helen: What? Phillip: And Mike isn't my brother. Helen: Of course he's your brother. Phillip: Then my name's Phillip Beardsley. Mary: Phillip North. Phillip: There she goes again. Mary: Sister, couldn't you - couldn't you just call him Phillip Beardsley? Mary: I'm sorry, but the school requires that we use their legal names. Phillip: Let's go to another school. Helen: Sister, I, uh... I understand your legal problem, but you must try to understand mine. You see, I'm trying to bring two families together, and this is the first sign that I may be succeeding. So, I really would appreciate it if you'd let Phillip sign his name Beardsley. Mary: But legally, it's North. Mary: But it's more important that emotionally, it's Beardsley. Mary: North. Helen: Beardsley. Mary: North! Helen: Beardsley, Beardsley, Beardsley! Phillip: Watch out, Mom. You might get a black eye.

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    C Betty Boop
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