Mary: I got there as fast as I could, Sister Mary. What is it this time?
Mary: Why don't you ask Phillip?
Helen: Phillip? [Phillip turns around, revealing a black eye] Darling! What happened?
Phillip: Nothing.
Helen: Who did that to you?
Phillip: One of the kids. [points at Sister Mary] *She* started it. She says I'm not legal.
Helen: What?
Phillip: And Mike isn't my brother.
Helen: Of course he's your brother.
Phillip: Then my name's Phillip Beardsley.
Mary: Phillip North.
Phillip: There she goes again.
Mary: Sister, couldn't you - couldn't you just call him Phillip Beardsley?
Mary: I'm sorry, but the school requires that we use their legal names.
Phillip: Let's go to another school.
Helen: Sister, I, uh... I understand your legal problem, but you must try to understand mine. You see, I'm trying to bring two families together, and this is the first sign that I may be succeeding. So, I really would appreciate it if you'd let Phillip sign his name Beardsley.
Mary: But legally, it's North.
Mary: But it's more important that emotionally, it's Beardsley.
Mary: North.
Helen: Beardsley.
Mary: North!
Helen: Beardsley, Beardsley, Beardsley!
Phillip: Watch out, Mom. You might get a black eye.
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