Yours, Mine and Ours1968

Mary:
I got there as fast as I could, Sister Mary. What is it this time?

Mary:
Why don't you ask Phillip?

Helen:
Phillip? [Phillip turns around, revealing a black eye] Darling! What happened?

Phillip:
Nothing.

Helen:
Who did that to you?

Phillip:
One of the kids. [points at Sister Mary] *She* started it. She says I'm not legal.

Helen:
What?

Phillip:
And Mike isn't my brother.

Helen:
Of course he's your brother.

Phillip:
Then my name's Phillip Beardsley.

Mary:
Phillip North.

Phillip:
There she goes again.

Mary:
Sister, couldn't you - couldn't you just call him Phillip Beardsley?

Mary:
I'm sorry, but the school requires that we use their legal names.

Phillip:
Let's go to another school.

Helen:
Sister, I, uh... I understand your legal problem, but you must try to understand mine. You see, I'm trying to bring two families together, and this is the first sign that I may be succeeding. So, I really would appreciate it if you'd let Phillip sign his name Beardsley.

Mary:
But legally, it's North.

Mary:
But it's more important that emotionally, it's Beardsley.

Mary:
North.

Helen:
Beardsley.

Mary:
North!

Helen:
Beardsley, Beardsley, Beardsley!

Phillip:
Watch out, Mom. You might get a black eye.