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[Eustace is writing in his diary.] Eustace: Dear diary, it is now day 253 since my wretched cousins Edmund and Lucy invaded our house. Not sure how much longer I can cope living with them, having to share my things. If only one could treat relatives like one treats insects, all my problems would be solved. I could simply put them in a jar or pin them to my wall. Lucy: I'm home! Hello? [Hearing Lucy's voice, Eustace puts his diary in his sock, grabs sweets, and puts them in a bag.] Eustace: Note to self, investigate legal ramifications of impaling relatives. [Harold in sitting on an armchair reading a newspaper when Lucy walks through the living room and passes by him on her way to the kitchen.] Lucy: Hello, Uncle Harold. I tried to find some carrots, but all they had were turnips again. [Puts the box on the table] Shall I start making soup? [Takes off her coat] Aunt Alberta's on her way home. [Harold ignores his niece.] Lucy: Uncle Harold? [Edmund sticks out his tongue at his uncle.] Eustace: [Standing on the stairs] Father. [Edmund turns to him] Edmund's making faces at you. [Spits a spitball into Edmund's neck] Edmund: [Angrily runs up the stairs] Why, you little–! Eustace: Father, he's gonna hit me! [Cowers on the stairs] [Edmund gets ready to attack his cousin, when Lucy calls out to him.] Lucy: Edmund, look! [Holds up a letter] It's from Susan.

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