[Angus calls the Operator]Angus: Okay, ready? You can do this. Here we go.Operator: 911. What's your emergency?Angus: I was jogging on the beach, and I found the body of a stranger who I've never seen before in my life!Operator: Is the person dead?Angus: Oh, she better be. I-I mean, she looks like she's been shot by a lover.Operator: Can you describe the victim?Angus: Uh, let's see. Uh, well, she's not the kind of woman that I would be attracted to. Just not my type. Besides, I'm married. I got a kid, too, but that wouldn't be a deal breaker 'cause he's such a chode.Angus: In fact, when I dropped my kid off at school today, he's whining at me, like, "Oh, I hope don't embarrass myself at show and tell today." I seriously had to stop myself from blasting a snot rocket in his frickin' mouth just to see the tweaked-out look on his stupid puss.Operator: This kid of yours sounds like a real piece of garbage.Angus: [laughs] Yeah. Sounds like you've met the boy.Operator: No, but I hope when he's in front of the class today he wets his pants.Angus: Oh, yeah, lady? Well, I hope he solids his face.Operator: [laughs] His classmates oughta call him "Solid Face". Seriously. They should start doing that today.
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