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[Kelsey is at a restaurant with her date Jake] Jake: I gotta be honest Kelsey, you look exactly like your picture. Or you’re thicker, more robust. Kelsey: Thank you. It’s a compliment. You look a little bit like Antonio Banderas if I squint really hard. Jake: Please squint all night long! That's great, you look, Chelsea, I mean- Kelsey. I'm sorry. Kelsey: That's alright. What's your name again? Jake: Um, it's Jake, [Scott appears clearing tables] sorry about that. So, uh, what do you do? Kelsey: I’m studying to work in the city. I want to make Staten Island a great place again. Jake: Staten Island’s already cool, what’re you talking about? Kelsey: Yeah it is. You’re the first person here to say that. Jake: It’s the best place on Earth. At least on the East Coast. Kelsey: [To Scott] Excuse me. Oh. Hey. Scott: Oh, hey. Hey. Kelsey: Hello. Hey. Scott: Would you guys want still or sparkling water? Kelsey: [To date] Um, you pick. Jake: I’m more of a sparkling guy. Kelsey: Sparkling it is. Jake: I do like tequila if I could get a Patrón with a rock? Kelsey: That’s fine. Jake: Tequila on rock. You guys want warm bread? Or olive oil. [Kelsey gets offended, then gets up and walks off] Deena: Oh bro, did you scare off another customer? What's wrong with you?! [Scott takes off after Kelsey and Deena turns to Kelsey's date] I’m so sorry about that. He has like, nepotism, you know? Kelsey's date: Is that a disease? Deena: Yeah. It’s a bad one. ... Kelsey: I brought that guy here to make you jealous so that you could give a fuck! Scott: To make me jealous?! Kelsey: You don’t seem jealous or upset at all! Scott: I do care. Of course I care. Kelsey: I chose the hottest guy on Tinder. Look at me! Look at my tits. It’s literally the Eiffel Tower holding them up in there. Scott: You look great. Kelsey: Thank you. Scott: Please don’t cry here. Please. Kelsey: You look awful. Scott: What do you mean? Kelsey: Your skin looks see-through and the circles around your eyes are so dark you look like an anorexic panda. Scott: I know I do. Kelsey: You always look sick and pale like you have a disease but you don’t know it yet. You literally look like if I touched you, you’d just turn to dust. Scott: I’m sorry. I’m not doing very well. [Kelsey starts leaving] Scott: What do I tell your date? Kelsey: Tell him to fuck off. I met him ten minutes ago. He’s a DJ.

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