High Priest: Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath...
Matthias: Do I say "yes"?
Female Stone Helper 1: Yes.
Matthias: Yes.
High Priest: You have been found guilty by the elders of the town, of uttering the name of our Lord, and so, as a BLASPHEMER! [The crowd reacts approvingly] You are to be stoned to death.
Matthias: Look. I-I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, "That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah."
[The crowds reacted angrily]
High Priest: BLASPHEMY! [to the crowd] He's said it again!
Crowd: Yes! Yes, he did! He did!
High Priest: Did you hear him?!
Crowd: Yes! Yes, we did! We did!
Woman 1: Really!
[Silence]
High Priest: [shocked and confused] Are there any women here today?
Crowd: [in male voices] No. No. No. No...
High Priest: Very well. By virtue of the authority vested in me...
[One Woman stones Matthias]
Matthias: Oww! Lay off! We haven't started yet!
High Priest: Come on! Who threw that? Who threw that stone? Come on.
Crowd: [in female voices] She did! She did! [in male voices] He did! He! He. He. Him. Him. Him. Him. He did.
Woman who casts 1st stone: Sorry. I thought we'd started.
High Priest: Go to the back.
Woman who casts 1st stone: Oh, dear.
High Priest: Always one, isn't there? Now, where were we?
Matthias: Look. I don't think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying "Jehovah".
Crowd: Oooh! He said it again! Oooh!
High Priest: YOU'RE ONLY MAKING IT WORSE FOR YOURSELF!
Matthias: Making it worse?! How could it be worse?! Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
[The crowds again react angrily]
High Priest: I'm warning you. If you say Jehovah once more... [Mrs. A stones the High Priest; Matthias laughs] Right. Who threw that? [Silence] Come on. Who threw that?
[Mrs. A tried to escape, but the crowd blocked her]
Crowd: [in female voices] She did! It was her! [in male voices] He! He. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him.
High Priest: Was it you?
Mrs. A: Yes.
High Priest: Right!
Mrs. A: Well, you did say "Jehovah".
[The crowd stones Mrs. A]:
High Priest: [Irritated] STOP! STOP, WIll YOU?! STOP THAT! [everyone stops] STOP IT! Now, look! No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say "Jehovah".
[Then the crowd stone the High Priest, then three Women slammed a large rock over him, instantly killing him]
Woman 2: Gotcha!
[The crowd broke to a applause, the sentries look at each other]
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