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Officer Michaels: You know, this job though isn't how shows like CSI make it out to be. When I first joined the force, I was under the impression that everything was covered in a fine layer of semen. And that the police had at their disposal a semen database with every bad guy's semen on it. Not true! Officer Slater: Yup. Officer Michaels: If only there was semen on everything, it would make our jobs easier. Officer Slater: Hell yeah! Officer Michaels: I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where everything is covered in semen. Officer Slater: I mean, who doesn't? It's like your wish that you could walk out of a room and just know where the semen was. You just know like Sherlock Holmes, if he was in his day, Sherlock Holomes, in his day... And this is a proven historical fact. Sherlock Holmes, when he was alive, knew where semen was. Officer Michaels: Could smell it out like a rat. Officer Slater: Smell it out. Anything. Officer Michaels: Like the crime scene today, if the man had ejaculated and then punched you in the face, we'd have a real good shot at catching him. Officer Slater: No way. Officer Michaels: Just punched you in the face. No semen. Officer Slater: Yeah, no semen. And that's the only way you can find DNA by the way, if it's in the jizz. Officer Michaels: Semen. It's the best DNA, is in the jizz. Officer Slater: I'm telling you right now, sometimes I just want to make, you know, live in a world of semen.

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