[Kid Xavier finally becomes a guardian angel]Xavier: You've absorbed all of my knowledge, and thus you have earned my soul. [releases his mutated Xavier soul, pluses the squirrel's soul as well] Go on, boy -- Hop in!Kid Xavier: You've put your manhood in me. Fromst this henceforth, my vowluation is towardst protectorize mine mommy.Xavier's Mom: Who are you talking to?Kid Xavier: This visitor -- Right here.Xavier's Mom: You see someone? Is this place haunted?! You bring evil spirit, boy! I need a -- I haven't had a drink since the night you were conceived. Go get me some whiskey and some PILLS!Xavier: [to Kid Xavier] Say "Yes," then just give her apple juice and sugar pills. Protect her always.Kid Xavier: Yes, mama.Xavier's Mom: [eat pills and drinks apple juice] Sweet nectar! ARGH! I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! You scare me.Xavier: [to Kid Xavier] Don't worry -- She's not really intoxicated. It's all in her mind.Kid Xavier: Will this save mommy?Xavier: I think it worked out well. I remember time went by.[Xavier remembers how it worked out a few years later with his idea showing a total pigsty]Xavier's Mom: [to Teen Xavier] Lady, get me more of these pills and whiskey, and I'll suck -- YOU'RE ADDICTED! I wish I wasn't addicted.Xavier: [to Teen Xavier] Go on-- Break her the good news about your decade of deception, your bout of epocock and bull, your wormhole whopper. Tell her about your period!Teen Xavier: Mother, you haven't taken any inebriants at all. I've been feeding you apple juice and sugar pills all these years. Aren't you proud of me, mother?Xavier's Mom: So it's all in my head? I don't know what's real! I can't trust anything! I'M LOSING MY MIND![cuts to the next scene where Xavier is talking to his younger-self but actually talking to a random table in the bar while being hallucinated the entire time when he met his younger-self in the first place]Xavier: Tell her, "Don't worry". It's all in her mind.Big Papa Dick: Who are you talking to?Xavier: I'm talking to this child here. Pregnant Stripper #3: He sees The Phantom Child!Redneck #1: The Phantom Child has returned to haunt us!Random Pregnant Stripper: GHOSTS!
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