Dean: So, UCI students, teachers, Dean here. Time for my monthly fireside web-chat thing, right? Which we all know is bull turds! All the other Deans in America are raising tuition and reducing teachers' salaries. And they're getting richer than ever. And I can't be outdone by those tiny-ass assholes. No f***ing way!Sammy: Oh, my! He's about to say we all got to back to being slaves.Crystal: Listen, I hope he shuts the whole place down. I hate it here.Dean: All my teachers get minimum wage.Dr. Falgot: Minimum wage? You got to be sh*tting me! Gale: Well, I always wanted for you to always want a second job.Dean: Freakin' students, man!Pemsy: Jocks, are you watching this?!Matt Attack: Pemsy, shut your jagged crack! Man's talking about our lives here.Dean: Students, there's only one week left to register for the upcoming semester. And most importantly, tuition will be raised to $500,000.Pony: $500,000?!Kim: Bro, that's so unreasonable.Frank: [scoffs] Come on. This just a joke, right?[Dean throws the computer away out the window]Dean: THIS IS NOT A JOKE! I'M THE SHERRIF IN THIS TOWN. ABIDE BY MY RULES OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!
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