China, Il2011

Dean:
So, UCI students, teachers, Dean here. Time for my monthly fireside web-chat thing, right? Which we all know is bull turds! All the other Deans in America are raising tuition and reducing teachers' salaries. And they're getting richer than ever. And I can't be outdone by those tiny-ass a**holes. No f***ing way!

Sammy:
Oh, my! He's about to say we all got to back to being slaves.

Crystal:
Listen, I hope he shuts the whole place down. I hate it here.

Dean:
All my teachers get minimum wage.

Dr. Falgot:
Minimum wage? You got to be sh*tting me!

Gale:
Well, I always wanted for you to always want a second job.

Dean:
Freakin' students, man!

Pemsy:
Jocks, are you watching this?!

Matt Attack:
Pemsy, shut your jagged crack! Man's talking about our lives here.

Dean:
Students, there's only one week left to register for the upcoming semester. And most importantly, tuition will be raised to $500,000.

Pony:
$500,000?!

Kim:
Bro, that's so unreasonable.

Frank Smith:
[scoffs] Come on. This just a joke, right?

[Dean throws the computer away out the window]

Dean:
THIS IS NOT A JOKE! I'M THE SHERRIF IN THIS TOWN. ABIDE BY MY RULES OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!