[Baby Cakes and Professor Cakes head to the Pet Adoption Center to find a magical pet]Baby Cakes: Dad, these animals are f***ing awful!Professor Cakes: That's not nice, son. They've been through a lot. We should give one a nice home. Oh, come on. Look at that cat.Baby Cakes: His sign says that he has cancer, lupis, and repressed memories.Professor Cakes: Oh, yeah, cancer. Sorry, I didn't see that. UH-OH! LOOK! This dog has an invisible leg! It's, uh, magic!Dog Owner: Oh, that dog bites anything that's warm, fyi.Professor Cakes: Oh, yeah. Right. Well. HO-HO! LOOK! A snake! Nothing is more magical than a snake!Baby Cakes: I hate snakes! They're always shushing me. Come on, just take me to a rainbow, maybe I can score an elf off an irishman.Professor Cakes: Look, son, there are no magic animals, okay? I-I have been playing ball all F***ING DAY![the adoption animals whimpers from his loud voice]Professor Cakes: I'm sorry. L-Listen to this, okay? GROW THE F*** UP! Yes?Baby Cakes: [sighs] I guess I needed to hear that. I am post-pubescent and all.Professor Cakes: Good. And, yes, we passed that milestone a while back. Barely.
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