Victor Frankenstein: Mr. Jefferson, may I introduce Barack --Thomas Jefferson: [to Barack] Hey! It looks like you're out of a job. [chuckles] My poop went away all by itself. Carried it out of the house. Whoosh!Victor Frankenstein: Mr. Jefferson, may I introduce your country's 44th president.Thomas Jefferson: [to the bodyguard] Well, what an honor --Barack Obama: Right here, sir.Thomas Jefferson: ...President?Barack Obama: Yes.Thomas Jefferson: ...of the United States?Barack Obama: Yes.Thomas Jefferson: ...of America?Barack Obama: Yes.Thomas Jefferson: [pauses for a couple seconds] ...on Earth?Barack Obama: Yes. Look, I agreed to see you as soon as I learned of your problem.Thomas Jefferson: Oh, yes, of course. Well, I'm glad you --Barack Obama: I can help you finish the constitution.Thomas Jefferson: The what's-to-who-tion?Barack Obama: The Constitution, sir. Don't worry. I've got it committed to memory.[Thomas looks at Ygor disappointedly]Thomas Jefferson: [to Barack] Oh, yes, of course. Um...let's see. I was stuck on the opening. Um..."We the blah-dee-blahs"...Barack Obama: "People", sir. "We The People". Thomas Jefferson: Ah, yes. Perfect. Nicely done. Thanks.[Thomas suddenly gets quiet]Barack Obama: Well, if that's all, I guess you'll be on your way, then.Thomas Jefferson: Yes. Goodbye!Victor Frankenstein: [coughs] Penis.Thomas Jefferson: Oh, actually, there is one more little thing.Barack Obama: Yes, sir?Thomas Jefferson: I, um...need your...um...Victor Frankenstein: Mr. Jefferson needs to graft your penis onto his body so he can better satisfy the black women on his plantation.Barack Obama: Your...slaves, you mean.Thomas Jefferson: Semantics.Barack Obama: Hmm. Okay, I'll do it.Thomas Jefferson: You will?Barack Obama: Yes. See, you're a founding father. All sides must come together and set aside their differences if we're ever gonna get anything done. For at this pivotal stage in american history --Thomas Jefferson: Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Are you big and black?Barack Obama: Well, no one's ever complained about my size. But I must use full disclosure. My mother was white.Thomas Jefferson: Well, that makes perfect sense. Your mother was white. I -- [gasps] YOUR MOTHER WAS WHITE?! How did that happen?Barack Obama: It was consensual, sir.
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