Dobel: I took the liberty a couple weeks ago of ordering you a little present.
Jerry Falk: What?
Dobel: Well, they're having a sale here on surplus Russian Army riffles.
Jerry Falk: What?
Dobel: Well suppose you're home one night, you know, in bed masturbating and some guys try to break in. You need protection.
Jerry Falk: No! I just dial 9-1-1.
Dobel: Have you ever dialed 9-1-1? It's like trying to get a mortgage.
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