[Mike has just injured himself, trying to break down the door of the store room at Archie's Place]Archie Bunker: If I wasn't so mad at you, I'd laugh like hell.Mike Stivic: Well, I am not the one who left the key on the other side of the door.Archie Bunker: Well, I am not the one who slammed and locked the door with the key on the other side.Mike Stivic: I am not the one who didn't say, "Don't close the door! The key is on the other side!"Archie Bunker: I am not the one who sponged off of me for five years and didn't earn nothing but the name of Meathead!Mike Stivic: I AM NOT THE ONE WHO SITS AND WATCHES KOREAN MIDGETS WRESTLING ON CHANNEL 5 AND THINKS IT'S EDUCATIONAL TV!Archie Bunker: I AM NOT THE ONE THAT SITS IN FRONT OF A TELEVISION SET FOR A WHOLE HOUR STARING AT THE SAME ORCHESTRA!Mike Stivic: I LIKE SYMPHONIES!Archie Bunker: IF YOU LIKE SYMPHONIES, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS![Archie blows a raspberry and waves his fingers like a conductor]Archie Bunker: You dumbbell!
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