Annie Edison: Jeff, you're in charge. I demand you deal with this.Jeff Winger: There's nothing to deal with.Abed Nadir: I'll say.Jeff Winger: Okay, all right, all right, everyone breathe. You know what this is?Abed Nadir: Yep.Jeff Winger: Shut up. This is a normal day with a bunch of friends who are done studying and a pen maybe rolled away.Annie Edison: Rolled away?Jeff Winger: Or fell down someone's shoe.Annie Edison: Let's check shoes.Jeff Winger: Annie! Fine, fine. Someone in this room is hiding your pen. Wanna know why? They feel terrible. They made a mistake. They waited too long to come forward and now they feel bad.Britta Perry: They should.Jeff Winger: Okay, okay. So, pen thief, we understand what happened, and we forgive you.Annie Edison: If you confess and apologize.Jeff Winger: Right, but here's the trick: Because this person now has no reason not to come forward, if by some chance, I get to the count of three and nobody comes forward, guess what. We have to accept that no one has the pen, don't we? [everyone makes a half-hearted agreeing sound] Don't we? [everyone makes the same sound again] Good. So here we go. One. Two. [Pierce raises his hand, and everyone points at him in an accusative way. Annie gasps] Pierce, do you have something to tell us?Pierce Hawthorne: Yes. Is it me, or has it become really obvious that Jeff took the pen? [different people agree with this at the same time]Jeff Winger: [angrily] You wanna make a bet, you jerks? Lockdown! Abed, seal the doors. Nobody leaves until this pen shows up.Abed Nadir: I don't like this.Jeff Winger: Yeah, tell it to the pen you might have. [Jeff puts his phone to his ear] Gwynnifer? Hi. Yeah, it's me. I can't make it. Well, tell your disappointment to suck it. I'm doing a bottle episode. [hangs up and throws his phone away]
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