Wizard: Michelangelo is the youngest of the turtles. He's lazy, undisciplined and easily distracted. He spends his free time playing video games, watching TV, reading comic books and eating pizza.Boomstick: That turtle is f***ed up!Wizard: What?Boomstick: Come on, you can't tell me that that turtle is not on drugs!Wizard: I don't know, I always thought he was dropped as a kid.Boomstick: Okay, look! He has all the signs! Strange eating habits, inability to pay attention, incoherent phrases...Wizard: Moving on, his weapon of choice...Boomstick: The bong!Wizard: No, the nunchaku, isn't really a weapon at all. It's a farming tool for threshing grain. These "weapons" are unnecessarily overcomplicated clubs with the effectiveness of a tattered flyswatter. Yet SOMEHOW, Michelangelo has been able to blunder his way through fights to victories he really doesn't deserve!Boomstick: He even beat Raph once.Wizard: Sure, I get it, swinging chucks around gives him momentum to hit with them, blah, blah, blah, but in the end, a baseball bat will give you the same effect and more with much less effort! Seriously, who came up with these things? They're preposterous!Boomstick: You're prepostemous! I don't know.Wizard: And, for some reason, in all his infinite wisdom, the great master Splinter gave the most complicated weapon to the retard of the group! WHY?Boomstick: Mikey's not gonna win this fight, is he?Wizard: He'd better not.
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