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Niles: Dad, I have never seen Maris this angry. I swear, her eye was twitching like a frog in a science experiment.Martin: Well, when your mother'd get mad at me, I'd just grab her, bend her backwards, and give her a kiss that made her glad she was a woman!Niles: I can't do that with Maris; she has an abnormally rigid vertebrae; she'd snap like a twig!Frasier: Let me guess: Maris has moved into the east wing again?Niles: Sunday was her 40th birthday. She said in no uncertain terms she wanted no acknowledgement of it whatsoever, and, in a moment I live over and over in my dreams, I believed her.Frasier: What - no gifts? No party? No nothing?Niles: Say that weeping into an ermine lap robe and you've got her down perfectly.Martin: Why don't you just get her a nice bottle of perfume?Niles: She gets hives.Martin: How about candy?Niles: Hypoglycaemic.Martin: Just get her a dozen roses.Niles: Allergic.Frasier: Well listen Niles, why don't you just sit her down and have a little talk with her; tell it was a mistake. We all know she's a bit touchy about her age, even though it's not the first time she's turned forty.

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