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Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: So you are all under arrest.Col. Wilhelm Klink: You're a little late, my friend.Col. Robert E. Hogan: Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.Col. Wilhelm Klink: Major, this happens to be Tuesday.Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [sarcastically] Oh, thank you very much.Col. Wilhelm Klink: I distinctly told you Wednesday, not Tuesday.Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: You think I listen to what you say? You might as well have said Friday, for all I care.Col. Wilhelm Klink: I never said anything about Friday.Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [annoyed] I didn't say you said anything about Friday.Col. Wilhelm Klink: [annoyed] Now tell me: was it Tuesday or was it Wednesday? Be honest!Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Honest with you? You don't even know how to spell the word.Col. Wilhelm Klink: Ha. Coming from the Gestapo, that sounds very funny. Now you may leave anytime, and take your spy, Private Berger, with you!Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What spy?Col. Wilhelm Klink: [shouting] And more, I wanna tell you... [Klink and Hochstetter shout into each other, so you can barely understand what they're shouting]Col. Robert E. Hogan: [Interrupting] HOLD IT! [Normal tone of voice] You make me feel terrible.Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What?Col. Robert E. Hogan: Well, it's true, we dug the tunnel and tried to escape. But, that's not the worst thing we did.Col. Wilhelm Klink: Hogan. What else did you do?Col. Robert E. Hogan: I broke up a beautiful friendship.

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