Older Ted: Kids, I'm gonna tell you an incredible story. The story of how I met your mother.Son: Are we being punished for something.Older Ted: No.Daughter: Yeah, is this gonna take awhile?Older Ted: Yes. Twenty-five years ago, before I was "dad" I had this whole other life. I was 27, just starting out as an architect, living with your uncle Marshall. My life was good. Then your uncle Marshall went screwed the whole thing up.[flash to 2005]Marshall Eriksen: Will you marry me?Ted: Yes! Perfect. You pop the champagne. You drink a toast. You have sex on the kitchen floor. Don't have sex on our kitchen floor.Marshall Eriksen: Right. Got it. Thanks for helping me plan this out, Ted.Ted: Are you kidding? It's you and Lily. I've been there for all the big you and Lily moments. The night you met, your first date... other firsts.Marshall Eriksen: Yeah... sorry, we thought you were asleep.Ted: It's physics, Marshall. If the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves too. Oh my God, you're getting engaged tonight.Marshall Eriksen: Yeah. What are you doing tonight?Older Ted: [V.O] What was I doing? Here, your uncle Marshall was taking the biggest step of his life and me? I'm calling up your uncle Barney.Barney: Hey, so you know how I've always had a thing for half-Asian chicks? Well, now I've got a new thing. Lebanese chicks. Lebanese chicks are the new half-Asians.Ted: Hey, you wanna do something tonight?Barney: Okay, meet me at the bar in 10 minutes, and suit up!Barney: [Ted walks in] Where's your suit? Just once, when I say, "suit up" I wish you'd put on a suit.Ted: I did... that one time.Barney: It was a blazer!
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