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Claire Dunphy: Phil, where are you, honey? I need to talk to you. Do you know what our daughter did?Phil Dunphy: [trying to cover up Alex's stupor] Nothing. She's fine. She's reading.Claire Dunphy: No, not her. Haley. Haley, come over here. I wanna talk to you.Phil Dunphy: There she is! Not a scratch on her.Claire Dunphy: You have something you wanna say to us?Haley Dunphy: Uh...Claire Dunphy: Mmm... let me help you out here. Fake IDs?Phil Dunphy: What?Claire Dunphy: Mm-hmm. Haley tried to get her and her friends some fake IDs.Haley Dunphy: I wasn't going to use them for drinking. We just wanted to get into this club to see a band.Claire Dunphy: She took a bunch of money from them, and then she lost it.Phil Dunphy: How much?Alex Dunphy: [slurring] $900.Phil Dunphy, Claire Dunphy: You're kidding me!/Oh my god!Haley Dunphy: It's not my fault! I gave the money to this guy. He's the one who ripped us off.Claire Dunphy: [to Luke] What happened to your face?Luke Dunphy: Oh. I ran into a door.Phil Dunphy: Yeah.Claire Dunphy: What happened to your face?Luke Dunphy: Dad hit me.Phil Dunphy: It was an accident. I was trying to open up a Band-Aid.Claire Dunphy: Phil!

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