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April Bluett: Here he is. Oh Victor, over here. We are at the captains table. Everything alright for you?Victor Meldrew: Generally speaking, no. I have just been into the bathroom in the top landing and discovered a dead seagull in the lavatory.April Bluett: [laughs] You see what I mean. It doesn't matter what he says. He's got that dry wit.Victor Meldrew: I'm not joking. It's in there. I lifted up the seat and there it was staring at me. One of its feet caught in that little lemon freshner thing.April Bluett: [April continues to laugh]Victor Meldrew: I'm being serious for god sake.April Bluett: Oh dear. What really? It must have flown through the window and fallen in the bowlVictor Meldrew: Well, I didn't imagine that it had come out of someones bottom. I just wanted to know what you were going to do about it - out of general academic interest.

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