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[first lines]Patrick: [keyed into his computer] Saturday, July 1st. The end to a week of perfect bliss: The Biggest Cretin in Christendom returns today from holiday. The man is goofy beyond belief, and seems to delight in making my life a complete misery. But for once I'm about to get my own back. Ha ha ha! Because what Meldrew doesn't know is that [he continues to type]Pippa: Are you nearly finished with that? I've got some letters to write. Hey! Listen to this. It's from Mr Hithercroft; you know, that old bloke with the monocle. Says: "Thank you so much for showing me round your house last Thursday. It is a truly delightful property and I should very much like to arrange a return visit to inspect it more closely." Mmmm. "I hope you will not mind if this time I bring along my camera, as I am very keen to take some photographs of you in the nude. I have a fine collection of World War II gas masks which, if you are agreeable, we..." Oh, dear! I think I feel sick.Patrick: Hmm, sounds quite promising, then.Pippa: Why... What... I beg your pardon!Patrick: Well, it's only a bit of fun, presumably. You never know, might be serious. We are desperate.Pippa: We're not *that* bloody desperate. In any case, it's addressed to *you*!

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    Quiz

    Are you a quotes master?

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    "Who steals my purse steals trash; But he that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him and makes me poor indeed."
    A Julius Caesar
    B Othello
    C lincoln
    D Marcus Aurelius