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JP: [Dressed in a Santa Claus hat and fake white beard] Do you know what day it is?Hamish: Let me think... Yes, I know. Is it the one hundred and twelfth anniversary of the invention of cardboard?JP: Mm, no.Hamish: The state opening of parliament?JP: No.Hamish: National "No Wanking Day"?JP: Close, but here's a clue; what am I acting out? "Whoa, ho, ho, ho, ho!"Hamish: Got it!JP: Ja?Hamish: The assassination of Martin Luther King!JP: No, I'm Father Christmas!Hamish: No, you're not, you're a featherless spangle blister.

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