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Trevor: What you doing?Hamish: Shh! Can't you see I'm on the phone?Trevor: Who you speaking to?Hamish: No one. I'm held in a queue and will "be dealt with shortly"...Trevor: Oh, my god. You poor bastard.Hamish: At the moment they're playing the theme music from The Bodyguard...Trevor: The Bodyguard?Hamish: Yes... But interestingly, it's not the original version, it's a little-known cover version by a gentleman who sounds like a cross between Chris de Burgh, Barbra Streisand and Kermit the Frog.Trevor: F***! That's awful!Hamish: I know, but you are required to listen to the bastard thing in case someone at the other end answers the phone.Trevor: How long you been listening to that dog spangle?Hamish: Seventeen hours...Trevor: Jesus! Seventeen hours on hold?Hamish: They started off by playing Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I've Got Love in my Tummy...Trevor: [Groans in disgust] Do you want me to stay with ya? Or would you rather play out this long, godforsaken vigil alone?Hamish: I think I'm going to need all the support I can get...

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